| |
Fear of Failure
When success didn't come to me after six years of sobriety, I was discouraged and disappointed and wanted to escape. I was angry at myself and at AA for not providing me with the magic formula to success. At this point in my life, I connected my alcoholism to my fear of failure. | |
|
| HERO House CA Hike |  | |
|
| Water on the Hike | |
| |
|
| More Hiking |  | |
|
| | |
| |
| Definition of a hero:
he·ro Pronunciation Key (hîro) n. pl. he·roes
1. In mythology and legend, a person, often of divine ancestry, who is endowed
with great courage and strength, celebrated for their bold exploits, and
favored by the gods.
2. A person noted for feats of courage or nobility of purpose, especially one who has risked or sacrificed his or her life.
|
Happiness is when what you think, what you say and what you do are in harmony.
~Mahatma Gandhi | | |
|
| |
Endurance is nobler than strength, and patience than beauty.
~John Ruskin |
| |
The best and most beautiful things in the world cannot be seen or even touched. They must be felt with the heart.
~Helen Keller |
| |
The ultimate measure of a man is not where he stands in moments of comfort and convenience,
but where he stands at times of challenge and controversy.
~Martin Luther King, Jr. |
|
|
| Thursday, September 9, 2010 Volume 2, Issue 41
Our primary focus is our own recovery and rebuilding our own lives. We will lead by example and not interfere with another's recovery. |
Supporting an Addict Who's Relapsed |
The path toward recovery from addiction often isn't a straight line. It's important that family and friends know what to do, and what not to do, at this critical time.
Seeing a loved one return to drugs or alcohol during or after addiction treatment can be devastating to family and friends. You may feel as though everything you and she have done about the addiction has been in vain. Naturally, you want to help support the family member or friend with the addiction so she can regain her health and get back to life as it once was. You may feel like you would do anything - including sacrificing your own needs and wants - to help your loved one get back on her feet. But experts say that's not what's best for addicts. Here are the important points to keep in mind, with guidelines for what to do and what not to do when a loved one relapses.
Addiction Relapse: It's Not Your Problem
As hard as it may be, remembering that this is the addict's battle will help you to cope with the situation - to truly get well, she needs to do it on her own.
DO stand firm: "Hold addicts accountable for their recovery from the relapse, just as it was important to hold them accountable for their addiction in the first place," says Ray Isackila, a licensed chemical dependency counselor in the Department of Psychiatry addiction recovery services at University Hospitals in Cleveland.
DON'T dismiss the problem: "This means that you don't make excuses for the addict," Isackila adds. It's also crucial that you don't try to take on your loved one's problems.
DO encourage your loved one: "Just redirect them to their original addiction treatment plan," says Russell Goodwin, a licensed professional chemical dependency counselor with IMPACT Solutions in Beachwood, Ohio. This may include suggesting they talk to their counselor or sponsor or that they go to an addiction support group meeting.
DON'T push: Once you have urged your loved one to reconnect with the people who can guide him or her in the right direction, take a step back. "Remember that it's not your mission to make them well again," says Goodwin.
Addiction Relapse: Avoid the Blame Game
You want to neutralize emotions, not make your loved one feel guilty or absolve them of guilt.
DON'T try to take away the addict's guilt or anxiety about the relapse: That's also not your job. "If they're feeling guilty, that's probably a good thing because it means they will go and get the proper help," says Isackila.
DON'T try to get a relapsed addict to feel guilty: If they don't already, this will not be helpful. "Saying to an addict, 'Look what you've done to me' is not going to motivate them to seek treatment," says Goodwin.
Addiction Relapse: How to Help
Still, you don't have to stand idly by - you can offer support in your own ways, without letting yourself be pulled down by the situation.
DOtake care of yourself: That's the best way to help an addict who has relapsed. Eat well, get enough sleep, be sure to exercise, and keep doing the things you like, such as hobbies, sports, crafts, - whatever it is you enjoy.
DO set an example for healthy living, suggests Goodwin: "If you're on your way to the gym, you can invite your loved one to join you. Letting them know that you'd enjoy their company is very supportive. Just remember that you can't force them to accept the invitation."
DO be supportive: If the addiction is to alcohol, a very supportive measure is to avoid having any alcohol in the house. "Many times a caregiver doesn't understand why they can't have a drink at home," Goodwin says. "I ask them why they would want to have alcohol in the house when it's the very substance that's killing their loved one."
Addiction Relapse: Staying Positive
It's important to have a positive outlook, for both your sake and the sake of your loved one.
DON'T be discouraged: According to the National Institute on Drug Abuse, drug addiction is, in many ways, like other chronic illnesses that often require more than one round of therapy. Just because addicts relapse and may need another course of treatment doesn't mean that their treatment has been unsuccessful or that they won't be able to stay "clean" in the long run.
DO be optimistic. Even though a relapse is not the outcome you were hoping for, a return to addiction treatment can be very helpful for your loved one who could, eventually, live a drug-free life.
By Jean Rothman
Medically reviewed by Pat F. Bass III, MD, MPH EverydayHealth.com |
Sober But Stuck: Obstacles Most Often Encountered That Keep Us From Growing In Recovery | 
Story of Hope
"Fear of Failure," by Bruce M.
When success didn't come to me after six years of sobriety, I was discouraged and disappointed and wanted to escape. I was angry at myself and at AA for not providing me with the magic formula to success. At this point in my life, I connected my alcoholism to my fear of failure. For the longest time I didn't see the connection between my alcoholism and my fear of failure. I thought my alcoholism was strictly an addiction problem, while my fear of failure had to do with my strong need to be a success in the material world. I didn't see how my feelings about myself, my disappointment with what I had failed to become, had anything to do with my out-of-control drinking. For one thing, my heavy drinking didn't start until I was out in the "big world," although my friendship with alcohol began when I was sixteen. I didn't start the heavy drinking until I was twenty-seven or so. And by that time I had already been a part of the work force for ten years. Looking back, I can see how my attitudes and beliefs about how successful I needed to be were pretty distorted and screwed up. Now that things are clearer, I see that I had unrealistically high expectations of myself. It was very important for me to attain respect and succeed, to be a winner in the game of life. If I didn't make it big, I'd be a loser--a nobody--and that image frightened me a lot. Excerpted from Sober But Stuck: Obstacles Most Often Encountered That Keep Us From Growing In Recovery by Dan F. | |
|
|
Stress is part of your in-built fight or flight response to perceived danger. A little stress can be a good thing as it helps you deal with day to day challenges, increases your ability to cope, or improves your performance for certain sports.
Problems arise however when stress becomes excessive or prolonged. If stress builds up, or continues un-checked for any length of time, stress becomes harmful both to your physical and mental health.
CAUSES OF STRESS
Stress is usually triggered by an external source, an event or a circumstance that is often out of our control. These events can be both positive and negative.
How we deal with a stressful event will depend very much on our personality, and it this combination of a triggering event, and our reaction to the pressure, which leads to stress.
The top ten major events considered to be the most stressful are: the death of a spouse, divorce, moving house, personal injury, retirement, serious illness of a member of the family, pregnancy, marriage, losing or changing job and financial worries.
Long-term problems such as serious illnesses, unemployment or marital problems are also major triggers.
HOW TO DEAL WITH STRESS
Learning to identify stress early is essential to maintaining good health.
Many of us struggle with minor stresses day to day, but luckily there are 5 steps you can implement NOW which will prevent an excessive built up of stress.
1) Smile for 90 Seconds
Humor is a really quick way of reducing stress. It distracts your mind from the thing that is occupying it and it also releases endorphins.
Strangely even just forcing a smile will do the job and research has proven that smiling stimulates the "happy" feelings in our brain.
It uses more muscles to frown then to smile so why not give your face a rest and grin your way to feeling happier? Take a minute out of your day and find something funny to read.
2) Take a Deep Breath
Taking a deep breath will naturally relax muscles that you have been keeping tense. Breath in deeply through your nose and then let your shoulders drop as you exhale through your mouth. If you can manage 3 deep breaths in a row all the better.
3) Mini Self-Massage
You don't have to strip off in the office or get out the oil just rub your temples, neck, insole or thumb space for a short while.
Learn to recognize the tension in your muscles by touch, and do something about it.
As you feel a tight spot just rub the spot firmly and smoothly with your fingers and / or thumb and will yourself to relax that muscle group.
4) Relax that Jaw
Clenched jaws are a common feature among the stressed. The best way to relax that jaw is to actually clench it harder and then relax. Feel the tension when you are clenching your teeth and then feel the difference as you relax the muscles that you were using to hold it there. You may be surprised at just how much you were clenching your jaw before!
If it helps, rub your jaw with your hands to encourage your muscles to really relax.
5) Stop and Daydream
Take your mind off the hook for a while. Think back to a particularly pleasurable moment, or of something you would really like to do, or perhaps of an ideal fantasy place. Let your mind wander. Many relaxation techniques incorporate an element of daydreaming or visualization and there is a good reason for that your mind needs a break!
Give it one, and as you daydream relax. |
|
|  In my search for help in coping with the effects of growing up with alcoholism, I accumulated shelves of books of psychology, religion, and a variety of self-disciplines. As a child I felt I could count on no one, and I was suspicious of asking others for help. I preferred to seek a solo form of assistance from books. Now I'm slowly accumulating a full library of Al-Anon publications by purchasing them at meetings and studying each one in turn. I've even mustered the courage to discuss my readings with other members. The insights garnered have turned my suspicion into trust. I've come out of my solitary personal library into the welcoming human world of Al-Anon. from Hope for Today (B-27)
We cannot choose the body we start life with, but we are responsible for its daily care. There are members who do not seem to understand that God does not help us physically when we refuse to help ourselves. They vainly pray for help instead of calling upon a surgeon to remove an infected appendix, tooth, or tonsil. We should not delay taking our health problems to capable doctors with whom God has so abundantly supplied us.
-- from Stools and Bottles |
|
| |
You are just a moment away from the highest level of enthusiasm and effectiveness you've ever known. You are just a moment away from the most empowering positive attitude you've ever experienced.
You can choose your perspective, you can choose your outlook, and you can choose your attitude. The moment you make the choice, whatever you choose is yours.
It doesn't matter what you've experienced or how you've felt for the last hour, or month, or year. In the next moment you can be feeling precisely the way you choose to feel.
What perspective would best serve you right now? What attitude would enable you to create the most value out of your current situation?
You are just a moment away from being the most highly motivated person you know. Choose now to be that person.
Your greatest success begins right now. Choose the positive, empowering perspective that will bring it to life.
~Ralph Marston |
Potato, Pepper & Zucchini Casserole |
A potato casserole that stands on its own, this recipe calls for red peppers and zucchini to add a blend of unique flavors. Thyme is also on your side, making a guest appearance.
Ingredients
1 clove garlic, peeled and halved
2 lb. Idaho potatoes, peeled and thinly sliced
2 red bell peppers cut into rings
4 tbsp. olive oil
2 tsp. fresh thyme
2 tsp. salt
4 small zucchini, sliced
Methods/steps
Preheat oven 350 degrees. Generously rub a 5 cups gratin dish with garlic. Grease lightly with about 1 tsp. of the oil. Layer half of the potatoes in bottom of dish, overlapping slices if necessary; season lightly with the thyme and salt. Drizzle with 1 tbsp. of oil over the potatoes. Add a layer of half the red peppers, then half the zucchini; season again with salt and thyme. Drizzle 1 tbsp. oil over the vegetables. Repeat layering and seasoning. Drizzle any remaining oil over the top. Cover securely with tin foil. Bake until vegetables are very soft and tender, about 1 hour. Serve immediately.
Additional Tips
Ready in 1 hour
|
|
California Corner |
10 Tips to Survive College
from Tricia Thibodeau
Program Director, California
1. If you haven't already registered, try not to schedule back to back classes. You'll wear yourself out besides missing the best times to study--right before and right after class.
2. Begin the first day of class. Know what's expected of you Take notes from the first day even if it's routine stuff you think you already know.
3. Establish a routine time to study for each class. For every hour you spend in class, you will probably need to study two hours outside class. Studying for each subject should be at the same time, same place, if possible. Study includes more than just doing your homework. You will need to go over your notes from by class, labeling, editing, and making sure you understand them. Study your syllabus daily to see where you are going and where you have been. Be sure to do reading assignments. (Don't put them off just because there's not a written assignment.) Read ahead whenever possible. Prepare for each class as if there will be a pop quiz.
4. Establish a place to study. Your place should have a desk, comfortable chair, good lighting, all the supplies you need, etc., and of course, should be as free of distractions as possible. It should not be a place where you routinely do other things. It should your study place.
5. Do as much of your studying in the daytime as you can. What takes you an hour to do during the day may take you an hour and a half at night.
6. Schedule breaks. Take a ten minute break after every hour of study. If possible, avoid long blocks of time for studying. Spread out several short study sessions during the day.
7. Make use of study resources on campus. Find out about and use labs, tutors, videos, computer programs, and alternate texts. Sign up for an orientation session in the campus library and computer facilities. Get to know your professors and advisors. Ask questions. "I didn't know," or "I didn't understand" is never an excuse.
8. Find at least one or two students in each class to study with. Studies show that students who study with someone routinely make better grades. You will probably find yourself more motivated if you know someone else cares about what you are doing in the class. Teaching a concept or new idea to someone else is a sure way for you to understand it. Studying in a group or with a partner can sometimes become too social. It is important to stay focused.
9. Study the hardest subject first. Work on your hardest subjects at a time when you are fresh. Putting them off until you're tired compounds the problem.
10. Be good to yourself. Studying on four hours of sleep and an empty stomach or junk-food diet is a waste of time. Avoid food and drink containing caffeine just before or just after studying.
For more tips and practice using these tips , you may want to purchase Practicing CollegeLearning Strategies , 3rd edition by Carolyn Hopper published by Houghton Mifflin, 2003
|
|
|
Upcoming Events in Atlanta
*FALL FAMILY WEEKEND - September 24-26, Please RSVP to Kelly at Kelly@herohouse.com by Monday, September 20. Thank you. See schedule below.
*KSU Run for Recovery followed by Brunch
Saturday, September 11, 2010
9 am - 1 pm
We are participating in the KSU Run for Recovery to celebrate National Recovery Month. September 11, 2010 9:30 race and 8:00 packet pick up on Campus at Kennesaw State University.
All proceeds benefit the Collegiate Recovery Center where students in recovery from addiction find an accepting place, a peer community and academic support.
Race day giveaways, prizes $100 $75 $50 overall women and men Post race venue.
COME JOIN US FOR A GREAT DAY OF CELEBRATION
_________________________________________________________________________________________________
Georgia Association of Recovery Residences
Announces Registration is Open for our
3rd Annual RECOVERY AWARENESS FAIR
CEs for GACA, GAMFT, LPCA and NASW
Friday, September 24, 2010 8:30 am - 5:00 pm
Co-Sponsored by:
Alina Lodge
Bank of America
Calloway Labs
Cumberland Heights Recovery Center
Four Circles Recovery Center
GACA
Georgia Council on Substance Abuse
Skyland Trail
Talbott Recovery Campus
Keynote:
"Working with Resistant Clients: The Alina Lodge Experience"
Michael Hornstein, CEO/Executive Director, Little Hill-Alina Lodge
Barbara Allen Anderson MA, MAC, CCS, CACII, Southern Regional Manager Little Hill-Alina Lodge
Register at www.garronline.com
Message from the GARR President:
The GARR-sponsored Networking Fair is an unmatched opportunity for outreach and community for those that serve in the field of addictions recovery. We hope you will join us for this valuable day of cutting edge information and networking with outstanding professionals!
~ Beth Fisher, GARR President
Cost of Registration as an Attendee is:
$60 - GARR Member
$75 - Non-GARR Member
Cost of Registration as an Exhibitor is:
(Includes one 6-foot table, 1 Attendee Admission, Free Wireless Connection)
$75 - GARR Member
$100 - Non-GARR Member
AGENDA OVERVIEW
Friday, September 24, 2010
8:30 - 10:00 Check In
Continental Breakfast
*Open Exhibits*
10:00 - 11:00 Roundtable 1 (Options Available)
11:00 - 12:00 Roundtable 2 (Options Available)
12:00 - 1:30 Lunch (provided)
*Sponsor Presentations*
1:30 - 3:00 Keynote Address
3:00 - 4:00 GARR Awards
4:00 - 5:00 Open Exhibits & Networking
The 3rd Annual Recovery Awareness Fair brings together addiction professionals, people in long-term recovery and their allies and others in celebration ofRecovery Month 2010. If you are interested in learning more about the Georgia Association of Recovery Residences (GARR), the Recovery Fair Co-Sponsors, hearing the Keynote Address by Michael Hornstein, or in meeting others who support addiction recovery, this event is for you!
Location: Embassy Suites 4700 Southpark RoadCollege Park, GA 30337
_________________________________________________________________________________________________
Save the Date
The dates for the Fall 2010 Family Weekend will be September 24-26. Please SAVE THE DATE for the weekend. We will begin the weekend with a Social Event on Friday evening. Saturday will be filled with workshops for the family and for residents. Sunday will offer opportunity for individual families to meet with staff to discuss your resident. I look forward to seeing you all at our next Family Weekend
Fall 2010 Family Weekend
September 24-26
All activities will be at House 4 - 1780 Timberlake Road, Kennesaw, GA 30144
Friday, September 24
7:00 pm Registration for the Weekend
7:30 pm Just Desserts
Join us for dessert and a fun family social activity.
9:00 pm Graduation
For Gray D.
All HEROes will attend this event
Saturday, September 25
8:30 am Coffee and Pastries/Welcome
Kelly Moselle, Program Director
9:00 am-10:00 am Meet the Staff/Q&A
10:00 am-11:00 am Taking Care of Yourself
TBD
11:00 am-12:30 pm Why Can't They Just Stop?
Jana Pearce, Program Coordinator
Michael Shannon, Program Coordinator
12:30 -1:30 pm Lunch*
1:30 pm-3:00 pm Addiction - A Family Disease*
Jana Pearce, Program Coordinator
Michael Shannon, Program Coordinator
3:15pm-4:15 pm Sobriety vs. Recovery*
Randy Haveson, Executive Director and Founder of
The HERO House
4:30 pm - 5:30 pm Lessons Learned*
TBD
5:30 pm and on Dinner on your own
Sunday, September 26
Open for individual meetings with Staff, schedule with us during the weekend.
Hotel for Family Weekend
We have arranged for a HERO House rate at the Springhill Suites by Marriott for Family Weekend. Conveniently located a mile from our campus, it is a wonderful facility. Their website is www.springhillsuites.com/atlkn. You may reserve your suite for $87.00 by contacting Felecia Callahan at 770-218-5550 and ask for the HERO House rate. "Aerodynamically the bumblebee shouldn't be able to fly, but the bumblebee doesn't know that so it goes on flying anyway." ~Mary Kay Ash |
|
Kennesaw State University's Collegiate Recovery Center 5K Run for Recovery | |
|
|
About The HERO House
The HERO House is a recovery residence for college students in early sobriety. We serve men and women in separate residences, based upon Peer-to-Peer Recovery Support, grounded in the 12-Step process. The HERO House is a community of students in recovery, sharing life experiences and helping each other achieve long term, quality sobriety and a manner of living that will make them outstanding contributors to our society.
Additionally, at the Higher Education Recovery Option, we work with students to return to school and to find the tools necessary to be successful while sober, on a college campus. We tell residents at intake that our program is typically a one-year program; however, we recognize some residents will finish early and some will need additional time. To successfully complete our program, residents need to complete a 12-Step Program, successfully complete one full-time semester of college, and to advance through all four of our levels of competency at The HERO House. |
|
|
