The HERO House Weekly News, December 23, 2010

1. In mythology and legend, a person, often of divine ancestry, who is endowed
with great courage and strength, celebrated for their bold exploits, and
favored by the gods.

2. A person noted for feats of courage or nobility of purpose, especially one who has risked or sacrificed his or her life.

Thursday, December 23, 2010 Volume 3, Issue 3O

Our primary focus is our own recovery and rebuilding our own lives. We will lead by example and not interfere with another's recovery.

The Story of Mel B.

"If we're willing to share all our garbage, we should be willing to share all the good stuff, too."

If you've ever read anything about the Roaring Twenties, well, it was supposed to have been a period of wild gaiety, heavy drinking, and slaphappy fun. That was the good-time era I was born into--September 9, 1925, to be exact, in a small town called Norfolk, Nebraska. But the only part of those so-called roaring good times that rubbed off on my DNA was the heavy drinking part. I missed out on the gaiety and slaphappy stuff.

In fact, I can remember being an unhappy, miserable little kid all the way back to the age of three. Okay, make that four. The simple truth is, I always felt different and uncomfortable in a crowd of more than one. While my older sister and younger brother were both very popular among their peers, I was an uncomfortable, depressing loner.
Of course, it didn't help that my parents were always fighting and finally divorced when I was eleven. Not too many people got divorced back then, particularly in Norfolk, and I was so ashamed I tried to cover it up. When the kids at school and the people I knew in town would find out about it, I felt embarrassed and tried to avoid them.

I actually started drinking at a very young age. My father would let me have small glasses of wine, beer, and even whiskey sometimes. He believed that if you allow children to drink as they grew up, they would get used to it and not become alcoholics later in life. Boy, did I blow a hole in that theory.

That pattern of limited drinking continued right through grade school and into high school. But when there was an ample supply of booze around, like at parties and such, I usually overdid it. I think the first time I got really drunk was around fourteen, when I started high school. I got into my father's wine and suddenly learned how to create a million-dollar feeling.

At sixteen I dropped out of high school and spent about a year at various jobs in Denver and California. Then I joined the navy. It was May 1943 and World War II was raging. I thought I was being patriotic. The truth is, I really wanted to get away from all the trouble my drinking was getting me into. But as alcoholics soon discover, when we make that geographical change to get away from our problems, we always find the guy who created the problems right there when we arrive--ourselves. I think I crossed the invisible line into alcoholic drinking in the navy.

Even so, since it was wartime, I did my job in Uncle Sam's service quite well. I got through boot training at the U.S. Naval Training Station in Farragut, Idaho, and then navy diesel school on the campus of the University of Illinois. After additional training in San Diego and Hawaii, I served as a member of a small landing boat crew during the battle for Saipan. I was then transferred aboard USS LST-555 for the initial assault on Anguar in the Palau Islands, Leyte and Lingayen Gulf in the Philippines, and on April 1, 1945, the landing on Okinawa, the last major campaign of World War II in the Pacific.

I was honorably discharged from the navy on November 8, 1946, with the rating of motor machinist's mate second class. Deep down, I knew how grateful I should have been that I wasn't court-martialed over my many drinking-related scrapes during my years of service. But, since most men in war drink or do other things, I guess it's hard to stand out too much from the crowd.

When I returned to Norfolk, my drinking continued. I leached off my mother and stepdad for a while, and then decided to stay with my father in Nampa, Idaho, near Boise. I found and lost several jobs due to my drinking and poor work habits. My drinking landed me in jail twice. My father and I argued a lot, and one day we had this real knock-down, drag-out affair. That's when I up and left for California, where I got a good job working in the oil fields near Ventura.

However, things went from bad to worse. I was getting drunk almost every day, and before the year was out, I had lost my job in the oil fields. I doubted I could find another job that paid enough to live on and drink on. I was now fast running out of money. I wanted to stop drinking, but didn't know how. I had tried all kinds of ways to stop, but once I picked up that first drink, all bets were off.

I had read about AA and even noticed its ad in the classified section of the Ventura newspaper. I also remembered reading a story about AA in a Boise newspaper when I was in jail. At the time I thought I was too young to be an alcoholic. This time things were really bad, so I decided to write a letter and sent it to the address listed in the ad.

Three days later I got a call from a man named Frank R. He came by my rooming house and took me to my first AA meeting in a nearby church basement. That was on October 7, 1948, and I had just turned twenty-three. There were ten other guys at the meeting, all much older than myself. One of them told me how lucky I was to be getting sober at such a young age.

I wish I could say that was the end of my drinking. I was greatly impressed by AA and the friendship I found there. I read the Big Book thoroughly and even memorized the Twelve Steps. After a month of attending four meetings weekly--all they had in the area--I went back to Idaho in the hope of building a better relationship with my father. It worked out badly, so I then went back to Norfolk for a short stay before returning to California. Jobless and discouraged in Los Angeles--but still sober--I got another bright idea that would lead to a very poor outcome.

Since I always had a warm bunk and three square meals a day in the military, I decided to enlist in the army. With no war on, I thought I'd sign up, get shipped overseas to some friendly European country, and have myself one big party. So in early 1949, I joined the United States Army. I lasted seven months. My drinking had me in and out of hospitals and finally in the guardhouse. One night, angry and very drunk, I set the guardhouse on fire. That did it. I was fortunate not to have been court-martialed and sent to prison for that move. I was simply kicked out of the army, this time with an undesirable discharge, all because of my alcoholic drinking.

Excerpted from 1000 Years of Sobriety: 20 People x 50 Years by William G. Borchert and Michael Fitzpatrick. William G. Borchert is the author of The Lois Wilson Story: When Love Is Not Enough, which was made into a Hallmark Hall of Fame movie; Sought Through Prayer and Meditation; and 50 Quiet Miracles That Changed Lives, all published by Hazelden. Michael Fitzpatrick is one of the leading historians in the field of alcoholism, specializing in the development of the Twelve Step movement. His work has included the restoration and digitization of one of the largest audio archives related to the Twelve Step movement.

1000 Years of Sobriety

1000 Years of Sobriety features the moving personal accounts of twenty men and women who have each remained sober for more than fifty years. These are the real "old timers," keepers of the wisdom, men and women from around the world who are among the dwindling generations who joined Alcoholics Anonymous when Bill W. was still alive, and whose very commitment to sobriety is a testament to the enduring power of the program.

The inspiring accounts collected here follow the time-tested formula used by millions of people who share their stories of hope in AA meetings every day: They tell us what they were like as active alcoholics, what triggered their decision to join AA, and the dramatic details of how they got sober--and how they've stayed sober for more than fifty years. Each story concludes with sage words of advice for others in recovery.

Those who share their stories in 1000 Years of Sobriety are living proof that the human connection bonded by the Twelve Steps has unsurpassed powers, and that AA is a program for generations to come.

Courage to Change

From Courage to Change, March 25^th. Courage to Change is a book with daily inspirations from a fresh, diverse perspective. Insightful reflections reveal surprisingly simple things that can transform lives. This is part of the Al-Anon approved literature.

March 25

Today, after lots of Step Work, I believe I am responsible for the following:

To be loyal to my values

To please myself first

To keep an open mind

To detach with love

To rid myself of anger and resentment

To express my ideas and feelings instead of stuffing them

To attend Al-Anon meetings and keep in touch with friends in the fellowship

To be realistic in my expectations

To make healthy choices

To be grateful for my blessings

I also have certain responsibilities to others:

To extend a welcome to newcomers

To be of service

To recognize that others have a right to live their own lives

To listen, not just with my ears, but also with my heart

And to share my joy as well as my sorrow

I am not responsible for my alcoholic loved one's drinking, sobriety, job, cleanliness, diet, dental hygiene, or other choices. It is my responsibility to treat this person with courtesy, gentleness, and love. In this way, we both can grow.

Christmas Trivia

In the spirit of the holidays, I present for you a Christmas trivia quiz. Take a try at the following trivia, and we'll see how many Christmas lights you deserve!

1. In A Charlie Brown Christmas, who plays the dusty innkeeper in the Christmas play?

2. What 1990 movie told of a boy's experience when two men break into his house during Christmas?

3. In Frosty the Snowman, who brought Frosty back to life?

4. Who lost $8,000 in It's a Wonderful Life?

5. In How the Grinch Stole Christmas, what biological shortcoming made the Grinch so mean?

6. What is the biggest selling Christmas single of all time?

7. Who said "God Bless Us, Every One!"?

8. Name the three reindeer whose names begin with a "D"?

9. What was the first gift my true love sent on the sixth day of Christmas?

10. Who kept time with the Little Drummer Boy?

Bonus: What Saturday Evening Post artist was known for his whimsical pictures of Santa Claus?

Answers below.

Answers:

1. Pigpen

2. Home Alone

3. Santa Claus

4. Uncle Billy

5. His heart was two sizes too small

6. "White Christmas"

7. Tiny Tim

8. Dasher, Donder, Dancer

9. Six geese a-laying

10. The ox and the lamb

Bonus answer: Norman Rockwell

From Where You Are

No matter how far you've fallen behind, you can choose at any point to start moving forward. Even though nothing else may be going your way, you can decide to get your thoughts and actions going your way.

Success is a function of your direction and persistence, not your starting point. When you're ready to start making a positive difference in your own life and in the lives of others, any starting point will do just fine.

You are where you are, so accept and embrace the situation. Then find some valuable and useful aspect of it that you can utilize to get yourself going.

From where you are, you can move in any direction you choose. From where you are, you can eventually reach any destination you are committed to reaching.

It will happen not because of where you've already been or what others have told you. It will happen when you decide to make it happen.

Now is when you can make that decision, and take control of your future. From where you are, with your passion to make it happen, anything is possible.

~Ralph Marston

Night Before Christmas Lasagna

There is plenty for you to do the night before Christmas -- so why add cooking to the list? Prepare this ahead of time and bake it around suppertime for a gourmet meal that's sure to satisfy.

Ingredients

3 lbs. ground beef
1 lb. bulk pork sausage
1 medium onion, chopped
1 medium green pepper, chopped
2 (28 oz.) jars meatless spaghetti sauce
1 (10.75 oz.) can condensed tomato soup, undiluted
1 (4 oz.) can mushroom stems and pieces, un-drained 2 tsp. Worcestershire sauce
1 1/2 tsp. Italian seasoning
1 1/2 tsp. salt, divided
1 1/2 tsp. pepper, divided
1 tsp. garlic powder
2 eggs, beaten
2 1/2 cups small curd cottage cheese
1 (15 oz.) container ricotta cheese
2 cups shredded Parmesan cheese
24 lasagna noodles, cooked and drained
12 slices mozzarella cheese

Methods/steps

In a large skillet or Dutch oven, cook beef, sausage, onion and green pepper over medium heat until meat is no longer pink; drain. Add the spaghetti sauce, soup, mushrooms, Worcestershire sauce, Italian seasoning, 1 tsp. salt, 1 tsp. pepper and garlic powder. Bring to a boil. Reduce heat; simmer, uncovered, for 30 minutes, stirring occasionally.

In a bowl, combine the eggs, cottage cheese, ricotta and remaining salt and pepper. Spread 2 cups meat sauce each into two greased 13-in. x 9-in. x 2-in. baking dishes. Layer each with 1/3-cup Parmesan cheese, four noodles, 1-1/4 cups cottage cheese mixture and three slices of mozzarella cheese. Repeat layers. Top with the remaining noodles, meat sauce and Parmesan.

Bake, uncovered, at 350 degrees for 45 minutes or until bubbly. Let stand for 15 minutes before cutting.

Additional Tips

PREP TIME 45 Min
COOK TIME 45 Min
READY IN 1 Hr 30 Min

California Corner

Location, Location, Location

Tricia Thibodeau, MA

Program Director, California

HERO House California is very pleased with the location of our men's and women's houses. Our Executive Director and Founder, Randy Haveson, spent the past year searching for the right area for the HERO Houses in California to call home. He chose the Costa Mesa area, not only for it's wealth of recovery in its community or just its 12-Step fellowship meetings and activities, but also for the abundance of young adults striving for sobriety in the area.

There are a plethora of higher education opportunities in a close proximity to both the houses. The schools in the area consist of a wide variety of community colleges, art and design schools and state universities. These schools are: Orange Coast College, Irvine Valley College, International School of Art and Design, National University, University of California - Irvine Campus, California State - Fullerton Campus, and Chapmen University.

A perfusion of shopping and eateries give our students ample opportunities for part-time employment. The South Coast Plaza, a large mall, is less than three miles from the houses. Another nice feature to this area is the proximity of the beaches to our houses. The city of Costa Mesa additionally helps to support our students with a wonderful transit system to get them to their destinations.

Last week HERO House California went to the Spectrum Mall. This is one of the largest outdoor malls in the area. There is a small outdoor ice skating rink next to a large Ferris Wheel. Students and staff went ice skating, consumed coffee or hot chocolate and were able to do some last minute holiday shopping. We at the HERO House would like to wish all our friends and family members a warm and happy holiday season.

______________________________________________________________________________________

A calm mind fosters clear seeing, which is another way of saying that if we practice mindfulness, we will have less self-deception. We learn to be honest, and delusions fall away. When we sit in meditation, we observe our mind, watching the thoughts pass through, all the mental traffic honking, swerving, and cutting in. We practice holding "bare attention" toward the thoughts and feelings that arise, accepting them with kindness and non-judgment.

--from Mindfulness and the 12 Steps

Atlanta News

Upcoming Events in Atlanta

*New Year's Eve at HERO House

Friday, December 31, 2010

10:00 pm - 1:00 am

The community comes together and stays together to celebrate the arrival of a new year!

*New Year's Day Brunch

Saturday, January 1, 2011

11:00 am

The residents enjoy a home cooked brunch prepared by the staff of The HERO House.

*Street Meals with Kashi

Sunday, January 2, 2011

11:00 am

The HERO House in partnership with Kashi Atlanta in their Street Meals program for several months now. Street Meals helps alleviate hunger for the homeless population in Atlanta. Street Meals is supported by a dedicated corps of volunteers who are committed to seva - selfless service - as an extension of their yoga practice. Teaching people about the joy of community service is a part of our commitment.

The first Sunday of every month The HERO House residents and staff make and distribute over 250 sack lunches to Atlanta's homeless. The HERO House wanted to create a service opportunity for our residents as we believe that being of service is a major component in bringing about lasting recovery. When discussing how to bring this project to fruition we turned to Kashi Atlanta for support.

We at The HERO House look forward to being part of the change we wish to see in the world!

*High Museum of Art ~ Salvador Dali

Saturday, January 8, 2011

2:00 pm - ?

Astonishing. Brilliant. Provocative.

Meet the man whose art-and personality-were larger than life. Dalí: The Late Work brings together a stunning collection of more than 40 paintings, plus film, sculptures and photographs-many never before seen in public. The exhibition considers for the first time the diverse body of work that Dalí created in the last forty years of his career. Reinventing himself during the 1940s, Dalí used his art to visually explore science, psychology, and religion-as he often said, painting the subject matter of his time.

"Aerodynamically the bumblebee shouldn't be able to fly, but the bumblebee doesn't know that so it goes on flying anyway."

~Mary Kay Ash

About The HERO House

The HERO House is a recovery residence for college students in early sobriety. We serve men and women in separate residences, based upon Peer-to-Peer Recovery Support, grounded in the 12-Step process. The HERO House is a community of students in recovery, sharing life experiences and helping each other achieve long term, quality sobriety and a manner of living that will make them outstanding contributors to our society.

Additionally, at the Higher Education Recovery Option, we work with students to return to school and to find the tools necessary to be successful while sober, on a college campus. We tell residents at intake that our program is typically a one-year program; however, we recognize some residents will finish early and some will need additional time. To successfully complete our program, residents need to complete a 12-Step Program, successfully complete one full-time semester of college, and to advance through all four of our levels of competency at The HERO House.

From:	The HERO House <kelly@herohouse.com>
Subject:	The HERO House Weekly News, December 23, 2010
Reply:	kelly@herohouse.com